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Mar 07, 2023

5 Disney Characters Who (Probably) HATE the Beach

Posted by: Lana Porter June 4, 2023 Some people love summer and sun

Posted by: Lana Porter June 4, 2023

Some people love summer and sun and all things hot. But while beach days may be a summertime staple, there are plenty of people who say the beach just isn't for them. Disney Parks are great at summer theming and dressing their top characters in beachwear and sunglasses, but here is a list of five Disney characters who definitely don't like going to the beach.

Credit: Disney

Is this really a surprise? I mean, ice is this guy's life! He feels most in his element on snowy mountains and frozen fjords. While his ice business might profit from the summertime rays, I don't see him actively choosing to go to the beach for a day of fun. Having hair as blonde as sand is as close as Kristoff will get to having affection for the beach. I can see Anna, Sven, and even Elsa dragging him along to the nearest shore, but he's definitely grumpy about it. Good thing Olaf is undoubtedly having the time of his life to pick up the good vibes!

Credit: Disney

I swear Yzma's purplish gray skin has never seen the light of day and is in serious need of some vitamin D. This lady does NOT like the beach. She’d rather be off in a cave or in her lab trying to figure out a new poison. A poison for Kuzco. A poison chosen specially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison… If Yzma made it to the beach, she’d be huddled under a big menacing umbrella, shrouded in as much darkness as possible. She’d scowl with folded arms as Kronk joyfully builds beautiful and mind blowing, intricate sandcastles next to her. She’d definitely kick them down, but those heeled sandals were not made for sand.

Credit: Disney

I’m thinking of Cogsworth in his clock form primarily, but something tells me human Cogsworth would be frustrated by the frivolity of the beach as well. I’m not sure that guy (clock) every relaxes. Who can blame him though? Can you imagine the amount of sand that could literally get up in to and grind his gears. That seriously seems unpleasant. Sand is for hourglasses, and they are so out of style! Plus what kind of wood is Cogsworth made of? You want him to risk that beautiful craftsmanship to frolic in some salt water? I think not. Cogsworth would love a beach day only if that meant everyone else left and gave him the castle to himself.

Credit: Disney

While Cruella de Vil could rock some high-fashion sunglasses, she’d never waste her time at the beach. Can you imagine all the infuriating dogs around her? She’d insist on wearing some kind of fur coat or boa or hat and absolutely boil to death in the summer sun. No, Cruella is certainly more of a city girl and way too high strung to lay back in a beach chair. Not to mention she has the same vitamin D deficiency as Yzma. Sunlight doesn't seem to agree with her complexion. Something tells me she burns. Cruella de Vil may love spots but the beach is NOT hers.

Credit: Pixar Animation

Poor Mike Wazowski, he always seems to get the short end of the stick, and I really feel like he's not the beach type. Something tells me he was used too many times as the volleyball in college beach tournaments to ever really like the beach. Maybe it's his uncanny resemblance to a beach ball? Mainly, Mike doesn't seem like he would like walking in the sand. Can't you imagine his little green one eyed body popping from foot to foot on scalding sand with Billy Crystal's voice complaining "Hot sand! Hot sand! HOT sand!" Sulley would definitely have to carry him. I also imagine a sequence with Mike having a REALLY hard time getting comfortable in a folding beach chair.

Somebody call Disney/Pixar because I think I just wrote some winning short ideas.

Credit: Disney

The beach is really more of an Olaf thing. A Princess Ariel thing. Definitely, a Lilo and Stitch thing! But I think Kristoff, Yzma, Cogsworth, Cruella, and Mike would much prefer to stay home than have a beach day.

The horizon calls for Moana and Captain Jack Sparrow, but don't worry if the waves and sand aren't your jam. You have that in common with these characters!

What other Disney characters do you think might hate the beach?